I am not always optimistic. Sometimes there is a dead feeling coming from my deep heart, it tells me everything is meaningless for me. Work for what? Live for what? Not sure. It seems that life is just about sleep, work and eat food, very tedious. At such time, I am full of despair, and don't want to do anything. Just want to sleep to die. How awful the life is!
But the problem is that I can't lose my life now, I have promised myself not to die until I am 75 years old. So I need to make my life meaningful and useful. I am trying my best. In some sense, I think this feeling is not bad for me, you know, it makes me know more about life and experience more in my heart. What's more, I have overcome the feeling of death. This is really good for me. I think I will love my life more in the future.
The feeling of death visits me once every month. I hope I won't be destroyed by it.